S#!t My Grandma Says

My Grandma Beth and the endless stream of comments that come out of her 92 year old unfiltered mouth.

[watching NCIS]
Me: What show is this?
G-Beth: NCSI...NCIA...NICA... It's a great program. They have cute boys.
Me: I haven't seen it. 
G-Beth: You haven't lived.

[eating dinner]
Me: I'm getting steak all over my face.
G-Beth: It's quite the improvement.

[unloading the dishwasher] 
Me: Grandma you almost stabbed me with that knife.
G-Beth: I was trying to make it look like an accident. 

And this was just the last hour and a half. 

92 years old and still making my abs hurt.